leitch:

“The Running Man” has been brought to you by: Breakaway Paramilitary Uniforms, Ortopure Procreation Pill, and Cadre Cola; it hits the spot! Promotional considerations paid for by: Kelton Flame Throwers, Wainwright Electrical Launchers, and Hammond & Gage Chainsaws. Damon Killian’s wardrobe by Chez Antoinne: 19th-Century craftsmanship for the 21st-Century man. Cadre Trooper and studio-guard side arms provided by Colchester: the pistol of patriots. Remember: Tickets for the ICS studio tour are always available for Class-A citizens in good standing. If you’d like to be a contestant on THE RUNNING MAN, send a self-addressed stamped envelope to: ICS Talent Hunt, care of your local affiliate, and then go out and do something really despicable! I’m Phil Hilton! Good night, and take care!

(R.I.P, Richard Dawson.)

O HAI.

I’m an albino alligator. I envision if you’re here (and by here, let us not confuse the issue, I mean at tumblr, because if you were “here” as in “in this tank with me here” we wouldn’t be talking much longer…now would we? I digress…)because you attended bay view gallery night and took a card, thanks! I’m not sure if you engaged Stephen in 3-5 minutes of spirited conversation about art, life, and the size of your hands, the taste of your hands, etc…but he tried his best to introduce himself to lots of nice healthy people like yourself. That said, maybe he didn’t offer you that kind and courteous 3-5 minutes of spirited conversation…He apologizes. He wants you to know that those moments are just an email away, but definitely not a phone call. He’s bad on the phone. That wasn’t a joke, sadly.

We’re in the middle of cleaning up our absolutely abysmal web presence, because doing gallery night has made Stephen realize what a mess our website and blog and flickr and soundcloud and youtube and you get the idea…

—-

Which, pardon me while I break albino alligator character, but before social networking, there were a few places you hung out, maybe a few more if you were particularly social. Now we expect people to have a presence at a half dozen internet storefronts. I thought having a coffee shop and a bar I was a regular at, it was as big deal. Now, you have to manage your work on websites you could care less about, because in order to reach people, you have to go to them.

But the fact of the matter is, we put up our blogs, our twitters, our tumblrs, what have you, and then they languish, because we’re not social networking people, we’re artists (or whatever your trade is), and those people who visit aren’t impressed because there is no content. Like my tumblr, like I realized this morning after I’ve directed everyone to my portfolio, only to remember, “oh yeah, I have a blog. I wonder what I’ve been doing with that. Answer: not much. So here we are. I probably should have just deleted the link…back to the alligator.

—-

Charming, isn’t he? I think it’s because he didn’t eat very much last night, because he was talking to you…or talking in the vicinity of you that probably distracted him.

NOW I should get to eating something, because I am hungry. Would have liked that Pastiche spread. Maybe have some Hinterland Beer, or that amazing Lincoln Brewing Company Homebrew, and Permanent Baggage? They don’t use leather…so I’m downwith that. All nice people…will not eat them.

Of course he wouldn’t have done it without Jess and Stag Babershop. No, literally he wasn’t going to do it. She made him. I think it worked out pretty well. She does have a lot of dead animals in her store and that concerns me greatly. 

Finally I’m a leucistic alligator, not an albino one. In New Orleans, where I live, they just call me a white gator.

Damn it, Jaime. It shouldn’t have happened this way.

brotherdarkness:

“You know what I like about Republicans?  The diversity.  Look at all those men and women, they’re short and tall.  With hair, without…wearing red ties and blue ties and…oh, come on, DON’T YOU HAVE A SINGLE NON-WHITE PERSON STAGED TO AT LEAST…PRETEND?!”

— My buddy Steven Kallao wins at life.

(Source: butchrosser)